


Something Truly Shocking

by 27dragons, tisfan



Series: Sarcasm Prompts [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bad Flirting, Multi, Pre-Slash, Threesome - F/M/M, Tony Stark Is Not Helping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 06:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17278808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/27dragons/pseuds/27dragons, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tisfan/pseuds/tisfan
Summary: If you haven't done 69. “You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.” yet, I'd love to see it with Bucky/Tony/Natasha <3





	Something Truly Shocking

**Author's Note:**

  * For [justanotherpipedream](https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanotherpipedream/gifts).



“Well, you and your pasty white Russian skin aren’t going to get sunburned, at any rate,” Bucky said, smirking. “Gotta admire his focus. There’s not a centimeter on your back or front that’s not well-coated in sunscreen.”

The fact that Tony had invented a little sunscreen-spraying _bot_ had nothing to do with Bucky’s amusement. That was his story and Bucky was sticking to it. Especially with Nat giving him that look that meant he was about a hair’s breadth away from being stabbed.

_Nicely_ , because Natasha did love him, after all. But it was still going to be a stab wound, and Bucky hated having to explain that shit to people.

And speak of the devil... Tony swanned into the room with an empty coffee cup and paused to examine the bot’s success. Nat -- nothing if not persistent -- posed alluringly for him. Tony... did not seem to notice. He leaned over to make sure the bot’s coverage had gotten the tops of her feet. “Hey, it did okay!” he said cheerfully. “I have to say, fixing the nozzle so the sunscreen wouldn’t gum up the whole delivery mechanism was a bit of a challenge, but I think I did okay!” Beaming, he swept past them, aiming for the coffee pot.

“You’d do better if you could look like the coffee pot,” Bucky told Nat under his breath. Not that Tony was paying any attention to either of them, and if it hadn’t been so tragic, Bucky might have actually been offended.

He and Nat were, in the words of at least a dozen magazines now, the _hottest couple from the coldest lands_. Why neither of them could get Tony Stark to even glance at them was beyond Bucky’s comprehension.

Nat adjusted her bikini top (Bucky hadn’t realized it could _get_ any lower) and winked at Bucky as she crossed the room to stand next to Tony. She leaned on the counter, arching her back and fluttering her eyelashes. “You need a little sugar for you coffee, Tony?” she purred.

“Uh.” Oh, hey, she’d finally done it! “No, I... I prefer it black.” Damn. “I’ve got some things to take care of downstairs. See you guys later. Have fun at the pool!” And he was gone again.

Before Bucky could even voice an invitation that Tony join them. Not that watching Tony parade around the rooftop pool in a pair of form-fitting swim trunks was going to do Bucky any good. Unlike Nat, who could get away with the water’s cold as an excuse for why her bikini was showing off nipples that could cut glass, Bucky’s erection was a little… less suited for polite company. And they couldn’t seem to get Tony to entertain the option of impolite company.

“You’re doing it _wrong_ ,” Bucky said, shaking his head.

Nat glared at him, which was interesting, given that she hadn’t bothered to straighten up again from that provocative lean. “You’re questioning my methods?”

Well, Bucky always did live on the edge. “I’m not _questioning_ it, I’m saying it’s stupid.” He sighed. “Wanna hit the pool anyway, since we’re both dressed for it? I’ll lap you a few times and you can work out your frustrations.”

Nat’s eyes narrowed and she straightened, putting her hands on her hips. “Well, if you’re so smart, how would _you_ go about it?”

“We -- er,” Bucky stammered, trying to come up with something earth shatteringly brilliant on the fly. He was usually too busy thinking about the end results -- a Tony-sandwich -- to figure out how to _get_ there. “Could try somethin’ truly shocking.”

“Like _what?_ ”

“Ask him.”

Nat rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to tell him just how dumb an idea that was, and then hesitated.

“It’s _Tony_. The man’s got like eight sex tapes out on the internet. What the hell are we gonna say t’him that’ll upset him? If he ain’t interested, he’s not gonna make it weird, later.”

“That... just might work,” Nat admitted. She reached out and snared Bucky by the drawstrings of his swim trunks. “Come on.”


End file.
